Give Him A Medal Or Something; Shit!
Whatever genius decided to combine two of the greatest things ever, ice cream and coffee, into COFFEE ICE CREAM, deserves to get an honorary BA from a classy-ass Ivy League school. You are my hero, coffee flavored ice cream inventor.

Also, I have the new Hanson album on my computer, and it's good. Pop music is catchy and dependable. I find mediocrity comforting. Kind of like the ratty sweatshirt I'm wearing right now. Or like that little bear's bed, it's juuuust right.

Question: Was Goldilocks just a really big whore? I'm beginning to think, maybe. A whore and a thief. Godfuckingdamnit, Goldilocks. [Editor's note: I am home alone, just played solo boggle (and kicked my own ass; I own at boggle. OOOOWWWWNNN.) and I'm drinking Shiraz. In case you wondered where all the enthusiasm came from.]

I challenge you to respond to one of these writing prompts:
www.mcsweenys.net/2006/5/4wiencek.html

Or some other writing prompt. I need more writing prompts! Hand them the fuck over, kids.

Love y'all.

Also, Mayzie, your hair is the mother-fucking hottest. You are my favorite Baby Jesus impersonator EVER. Pictures, mythological creatures party people! You're my favorites.